Future of Brands: buddha, n.
A yard or garden sculpture. Popular buddhas include St. Francis, gnomes, jockeys, wagon wheels and, of course, Buddha, referred to as a “buddha-buddha”. Buddha-buddhas come in two varieties: full body and head-only.
Different buddhas attract different kinds of good fortune. Homescapers choose lawn jockey buddha to attract "gracious living".
Gleaning Meaning/Ecotrendland: Hydration Station
The collective will to cut down on bottled water gains momentum: A recent article in USA Today profiles the rise of hydration stations, water fountains designed for refilling reusable bottles. Eco-minded college campuses are among the earliest adopters. According to the article, airports, parks, offices and other types of venue are also coming onboard. Restaurants, too, are designing incentive programs around the concept: Patrons who refill their own bottles receive a discount. Single-use water bottles aren’t going away any time soon, however: Last year, usage actually increased slightly. But now, at least, a more mindful solution presents itself.
I see that Brita, the water filter company, has trademarked the term in conjunction with its own, wall-mounted product. Seems to me like they’re going to have enforcement issues around this: from the public’s standpoint, the term has already gone generic.
Future of Brands: new, now and the compression of the present
It’s passé to speak of the present or, for that matter, to speak in the present tense. To the extent one can avoid it, one should. The only thing worse than being stuck in the past is being stuck in the present. In the past, at least, you can pose as retro. What’s preferred is the future tense, now known (among those few who care about such things), as the predictive tense. To live in the present is to be a bee trapped in amber. To live for the present is to be in a state of perpetual catch-up. What is the present, anyway, but the imminently pre-past? The cool people aren’t those in the know about what’s happening now but those with special insight into what’s on the way. As soon as something has made its debut, it’s already on its way out. Increasingly, we view ourselves not as creatures of habit but as beings in transit. Helpful hint for time travelers: One easy way to sidestep the challenge of dispensing with the present is to talk about things in terms of yesterday and tomorrow. Instead of “I like bacon and eggs” try: “This morning I liked bacon and eggs.” Or: “Tomorrow I might not like bacon and eggs as much as I used to.” Give the present a rest.
Future of Brands: bible porn, n.
Religiously sanctioned pornography. Specifically, visual and photographic imagery of sexual relations between an adult man and woman that does not run counter to Bible-based guidelines for husbands and wives. To earn the Evangelical Entertainment Council’s SEG (Sanctioned in the Eyes of God) rating, hardcore bible porn actors must be legally married couples. To create hardcore bible porn, adult film actors typically enter into short-term marriage contracts good for the duration of a given production. The busiest bible porn actors have been married hundreds of times over. With the rise of bible porn, the phrase “I’m the marryin’ type” has taken on new meaning. Bible porn has also spawned the popular play-on-words phrase, “Let’s have segs.”
Gleaning Meaning/Medialand: Herp Derp, Hurr Durr…
A cherrybomb string of gleanmean encounters kicks off with a link to a thread on Reddit that my friend Sean Perlmutter sends me. The thread discusses various contributors’ top three most enlightening books. A number of people have something to say about World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, by Max Brooks. Someone comments about the book’s references to herp derps. Ah, so what is a herp derp? Turns out it’s a well-known variant of a bona fide internet meme. In general terms, a derp is an expression of stupidity, like duh or doh. More specifically, it can be a physical expression made by walling the eyes outward. (I can’t will my eyes go to like this. Can you?). A herp derp seems to be a more extrememe version of the same thing, sometimes with a lolled tongue added to the walled-out eyes for an even more sublime expression of utter stupidity. Like a zombie, I guess, or like this Boston terrier—who exhibits a variant of the herp derp meme known as a hurr durr…
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Gleaning Meaning/Sportsland: Hen Pen
The Toledo Mud Hens are the minor league farm team for the Detroit Tigers. They play in a pitcher-perfect ballpark called Fifth Third Field in downtown Toledo and they’re extremely popular with the hometown crowd regardless of their standing. The Hen Pen is, variously, the nickname for their bullpen and for the park itself. 
Gleaning Meaning/Historyland: Silly Billy
William IV was the English ruler who preceded Victoria, and the oldest individual to ascend that nation’s throne. I read that he earned his nickname due to his penchant for “rambling and intemperate remarks” and his “lack of a sense of proportion”. But otherwise he seems a generally pleasant, decent, honorable and capable old fellow. As monarch he seems to have been modest and industrious, and I read in Wikipedia that his reign saw several reforms. In the May issue of Harper’s, in a reprint of an essay from City Journal, Theodore Dalyrmple notes that it was only during his reign that something resembling the hallmark British modesty and restraint took hold. The point being that the British character can change, has changed before, and is changing again—in Dalrymple’s view, in an unrestrained, and unfortunate, new direction.
